Sunday, October 31, 2004
Guys, check this out first: http://ic1.deviantart.com/fs4/f/2004/265/e/0/narutard.swf
Funny shit. Even more if you watch the anime Naruto, or if you are a narutard yourself! hahaha! Thank you Li Woon 4 showing it 2 me =)
And thank you guys for all your comments and discussions, even of they may be on Hui Lynn's blog..... =S
Here's to the story.
*--Continued from last post
"Hazel, you there?"
"Mmm-hmmm."
She didn't take too long to answer, and the sheets ruffled a little. Aaron thought she sounded distressed. "But of course," he mused, she was on the verge of sleeping.
"Remember that time I gave you that book?"
"Yeah....." Aaron's gaze was still fixed on her, but within that encompassing darkness, he could not for the life of him tell if Hazel was looking back.
It was here that Aaron hesitated. For what Hazel was to him, from this moment on, could very well be something of the past. Her intoxicating feminism, her flirtatious friendliness, her schoolgirl style - all would be thrown under a different tilt of light.
"What did you think of that message I left in it?"
-+-+-+-
The same sleeplessness that overcame Aaron the night he wrought those verses seemed to be amplified many times over here in the presence of Hazel. He could not remember the exact words, but he could still feel the way they gripped him - the way he dug deep into his heart and into every memory he had of Hazel to find them - the way they tugged at him until the suspense was downright unbearable. How could he have known that professing his love for her in words would be so much harder than it would be in tongue?
After what seemed to Aaron an eternity spent in a prison of the soul - an eternity of waiting to be trialed, Hazel finally spoke her truth. "You know, a girl should never have to answer a question like that."
"Awh, damnit," Aaron cried silently, "it's just like Hazel to toy around in a moment like this." He was just about to give up with a sigh when Hazel - not too reluctantly, Aaron thought - followed up.
"I think I took it the way you wanted me to."
If there ever was a time that Aaron could not put an experience into words, Aaron thought, this had to be it. He was virtually gasping for air. "Rea-hea-really?"
"Haha," Aaron thought Hazel's laugh could never sound sweeter nor more sincere, "yes, I was very, very touched, but I knew that there was more to that poem than mere compliments."
*To be continued in next post--
Funny shit. Even more if you watch the anime Naruto, or if you are a narutard yourself! hahaha! Thank you Li Woon 4 showing it 2 me =)
And thank you guys for all your comments and discussions, even of they may be on Hui Lynn's blog..... =S
Here's to the story.
*--Continued from last post
"Hazel, you there?"
"Mmm-hmmm."
She didn't take too long to answer, and the sheets ruffled a little. Aaron thought she sounded distressed. "But of course," he mused, she was on the verge of sleeping.
"Remember that time I gave you that book?"
"Yeah....." Aaron's gaze was still fixed on her, but within that encompassing darkness, he could not for the life of him tell if Hazel was looking back.
It was here that Aaron hesitated. For what Hazel was to him, from this moment on, could very well be something of the past. Her intoxicating feminism, her flirtatious friendliness, her schoolgirl style - all would be thrown under a different tilt of light.
"What did you think of that message I left in it?"
-+-+-+-
The same sleeplessness that overcame Aaron the night he wrought those verses seemed to be amplified many times over here in the presence of Hazel. He could not remember the exact words, but he could still feel the way they gripped him - the way he dug deep into his heart and into every memory he had of Hazel to find them - the way they tugged at him until the suspense was downright unbearable. How could he have known that professing his love for her in words would be so much harder than it would be in tongue?
After what seemed to Aaron an eternity spent in a prison of the soul - an eternity of waiting to be trialed, Hazel finally spoke her truth. "You know, a girl should never have to answer a question like that."
"Awh, damnit," Aaron cried silently, "it's just like Hazel to toy around in a moment like this." He was just about to give up with a sigh when Hazel - not too reluctantly, Aaron thought - followed up.
"I think I took it the way you wanted me to."
If there ever was a time that Aaron could not put an experience into words, Aaron thought, this had to be it. He was virtually gasping for air. "Rea-hea-really?"
"Haha," Aaron thought Hazel's laugh could never sound sweeter nor more sincere, "yes, I was very, very touched, but I knew that there was more to that poem than mere compliments."
*To be continued in next post--
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
Sleepover
This here is dedicated to one of you readers. You know who you are. Everytime I play "Here Without You", I think of you. Everytime I see a Chinese in a Malay outfit, I think of you. Everytime I have to take some shit from a female.......=). Take good care of yourself. May your life be blessed; and, if fate may have it, may our paths cross again in the future.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The night has ways of bringing people together - bonding them through their thoughts and their feelings, the thread of their souls. It is when the heavens glitter above us with their distant mystique and when silence and solemnity feed our senses that the walls we so painstakingly construct around us are torn down, brick by unknowing brick.
The room was pitch black. The only other shades Aaron could make out were parts of Hazel's age-old boy band posters and the many school forms and announcements and notices that were on a section of her wall. He could also vaguely tell the time off her birdhouse clock right above him. Three fifteen. "I should be well asleep now," he thought, "considering everything I've been through." He closed his eyes once more, tucking his hands under the pillow and pressing his head sideways over it. He then tried counting sheep - big, fat, nursery-rhyme-book-type sheep which jumped in a parabola across a wooden picket fence - but all that entered his thoughts was the whirring of her air conditioner. He stirred, and switched his posture so that he lay facing upwards. Finally, he turned himself so that he was facing the other side of the room and caught a shilhoutte of Hazel sleeping smug under the sheets on the bed next to his mattress on the floor.
It was then that Aaron knew why he could not sleep.
-+-+-+-
An uncommonly bizzare turn of events had led to Aaron's sleepover at Hazel's. They were studying for the SPM which was only nine days away at the library with friends. When the day got late, one by one they starting heading home. Then, just when Aaron was about to pack up and wait outside for his parents' ride, he got a phonecall saying that they had to rush out-of-town to a convention, and recommended that he stay over at a friend's house for the night. He said his goodbyes, flopped back his phone and looked around the table. Hazel. He looked twice around the table. Hazel, Hazel. "Damnit, why her of all people?" he muttered under his breath.
Thus he went for dinner with her and her mom, and he was surpirsed that her much protective parents let him sleep in Hazel's room when the time came. "Must've been the impression I made during dinner." Not willing to quit, they took out their books and analyzed and discussed and memorized till Aaron unconciously rested his head and started to drift off into never-never land. This was when Hazel, ever the "glass is half-full" one, stepped over and commenced to give him a hard shove on the back of his neck. His head knocked wood. "If you've had enough, let's call it a day...........night............whatever. Go sleep on that mattress I got out for you before you start drooling all over my workplace."
Aaron laughed to himself. He had no idea why he fell for her, and he still didn't have the slightest clue that night, when he was alone with her, under her roof, in her room. If the air-conditioning was not on, he was certain he would even be able to listen to the girl he once loved breathe.
*To Be continued in next post ---
This here is dedicated to one of you readers. You know who you are. Everytime I play "Here Without You", I think of you. Everytime I see a Chinese in a Malay outfit, I think of you. Everytime I have to take some shit from a female.......=). Take good care of yourself. May your life be blessed; and, if fate may have it, may our paths cross again in the future.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The night has ways of bringing people together - bonding them through their thoughts and their feelings, the thread of their souls. It is when the heavens glitter above us with their distant mystique and when silence and solemnity feed our senses that the walls we so painstakingly construct around us are torn down, brick by unknowing brick.
The room was pitch black. The only other shades Aaron could make out were parts of Hazel's age-old boy band posters and the many school forms and announcements and notices that were on a section of her wall. He could also vaguely tell the time off her birdhouse clock right above him. Three fifteen. "I should be well asleep now," he thought, "considering everything I've been through." He closed his eyes once more, tucking his hands under the pillow and pressing his head sideways over it. He then tried counting sheep - big, fat, nursery-rhyme-book-type sheep which jumped in a parabola across a wooden picket fence - but all that entered his thoughts was the whirring of her air conditioner. He stirred, and switched his posture so that he lay facing upwards. Finally, he turned himself so that he was facing the other side of the room and caught a shilhoutte of Hazel sleeping smug under the sheets on the bed next to his mattress on the floor.
It was then that Aaron knew why he could not sleep.
-+-+-+-
An uncommonly bizzare turn of events had led to Aaron's sleepover at Hazel's. They were studying for the SPM which was only nine days away at the library with friends. When the day got late, one by one they starting heading home. Then, just when Aaron was about to pack up and wait outside for his parents' ride, he got a phonecall saying that they had to rush out-of-town to a convention, and recommended that he stay over at a friend's house for the night. He said his goodbyes, flopped back his phone and looked around the table. Hazel. He looked twice around the table. Hazel, Hazel. "Damnit, why her of all people?" he muttered under his breath.
Thus he went for dinner with her and her mom, and he was surpirsed that her much protective parents let him sleep in Hazel's room when the time came. "Must've been the impression I made during dinner." Not willing to quit, they took out their books and analyzed and discussed and memorized till Aaron unconciously rested his head and started to drift off into never-never land. This was when Hazel, ever the "glass is half-full" one, stepped over and commenced to give him a hard shove on the back of his neck. His head knocked wood. "If you've had enough, let's call it a day...........night............whatever. Go sleep on that mattress I got out for you before you start drooling all over my workplace."
Aaron laughed to himself. He had no idea why he fell for her, and he still didn't have the slightest clue that night, when he was alone with her, under her roof, in her room. If the air-conditioning was not on, he was certain he would even be able to listen to the girl he once loved breathe.
*To Be continued in next post ---
Monday, October 18, 2004
Very sorry, loyal fans, but I've not been in the writing mood recently. Matter of fact, I'm not really in the writing mood now.......so expect some shortcomings. Although I haven't been to school much, I'm still not at home that often and there's like a thousand other small things I need 2 do fixing up my com n my connection n handling our graduation day performance n finding out bout my future education and what not. Anyway, no more excuses. Let's finish this thing.
---*Continued from last post
"I even checked up 'Corpse', which was rather scary: "A corpse in a dream is a danger signal of the highest order. Death is a symbol of transformation, followed as a rule by rebirth. The corpse, on the other hand, is a symbol of the long dead, inanimate side of a personality. To a certain extent, this relates to a spiritual relationship which the conciousness regards as lifeless, or to a complex which still burdens the unconcious."" I caught my breath and just let myself sink with my exhaling, trying to connect the textbook meanings to my own being. It was no use. If I couldn't do it at home I wouldn't be able to do it there in the car. I supposed Faizal was in thought as well. I was surprised the light hadn't turned green before he sifted through the possible reactions he could give me in his head and finally decided on a reply. Or, he may have just played instant reaction.
The blue eternity outside was fading into a more subtle grey, and I watched as the long lines of streetlamps died away, pair by pair by pair.
"Does this dream worry you?" Faizal had been listening to my word-for-word speech with utmost intent. The whole time his head was rested on his hand, which was propped up on the dashboard, greek-philosopher-statue style.
To answer his question meant I would have to find those connections I sought so hardly for. Nevertheless, I still had a good comeback. "Well, I'm sure to some extent it does, Faizal, otherwise I wouldn't be discussing it with you right now. But I'm glad you see some significance in my dream, even though you've left finding out what exactly that significance is completely up to me."
"Huh?" Faizal gawked, "What significance? Brother, I'm just trying to show some concern here."
I couldn't believe it. I thought I could get something out of this traffic-light-stop conversation, something I could ponder about during the long walk from where we park to school, something which i could put into another context which in turn I could use to put someone else in thought. That did it. I was exasperated, shellshocked and in an utter state of disbelief. But above all, I was mad because once again I was biting myself in the tail by trying to get Faizal to discuss something enigmatic or intellectual, something which I was more and more inclined to believe he wouldn't be able to do even if he lived to be a hundred. Thus, I made the grand mistake - I kept quiet.
At that very moment, the big tri-coloured electronic policemen ahead of us finally turned green. There must be a Greater power. Faizal eased the handbrake and got back into position. The world was on its
wheels again. Everybody was rushing to fulfill their day's role in society. Suddenly everything was back
to normal, as how we explain it to be, as how it should be.
"Let's just go to school, I said."
~ * * * * * * * ~
---*Continued from last post
"I even checked up 'Corpse', which was rather scary: "A corpse in a dream is a danger signal of the highest order. Death is a symbol of transformation, followed as a rule by rebirth. The corpse, on the other hand, is a symbol of the long dead, inanimate side of a personality. To a certain extent, this relates to a spiritual relationship which the conciousness regards as lifeless, or to a complex which still burdens the unconcious."" I caught my breath and just let myself sink with my exhaling, trying to connect the textbook meanings to my own being. It was no use. If I couldn't do it at home I wouldn't be able to do it there in the car. I supposed Faizal was in thought as well. I was surprised the light hadn't turned green before he sifted through the possible reactions he could give me in his head and finally decided on a reply. Or, he may have just played instant reaction.
The blue eternity outside was fading into a more subtle grey, and I watched as the long lines of streetlamps died away, pair by pair by pair.
"Does this dream worry you?" Faizal had been listening to my word-for-word speech with utmost intent. The whole time his head was rested on his hand, which was propped up on the dashboard, greek-philosopher-statue style.
To answer his question meant I would have to find those connections I sought so hardly for. Nevertheless, I still had a good comeback. "Well, I'm sure to some extent it does, Faizal, otherwise I wouldn't be discussing it with you right now. But I'm glad you see some significance in my dream, even though you've left finding out what exactly that significance is completely up to me."
"Huh?" Faizal gawked, "What significance? Brother, I'm just trying to show some concern here."
I couldn't believe it. I thought I could get something out of this traffic-light-stop conversation, something I could ponder about during the long walk from where we park to school, something which i could put into another context which in turn I could use to put someone else in thought. That did it. I was exasperated, shellshocked and in an utter state of disbelief. But above all, I was mad because once again I was biting myself in the tail by trying to get Faizal to discuss something enigmatic or intellectual, something which I was more and more inclined to believe he wouldn't be able to do even if he lived to be a hundred. Thus, I made the grand mistake - I kept quiet.
At that very moment, the big tri-coloured electronic policemen ahead of us finally turned green. There must be a Greater power. Faizal eased the handbrake and got back into position. The world was on its
wheels again. Everybody was rushing to fulfill their day's role in society. Suddenly everything was back
to normal, as how we explain it to be, as how it should be.
"Let's just go to school, I said."
~ * * * * * * * ~
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
Hey guys......I know its been awhile but I promise I'll have the final post for this episode pretty soon...coz it's already about half done. Thank you for your comments and your continuous interest in my storyblog.
P/S: Haha...just discovered the font colour option here...tell me if u think I'm going too colour crazy ;-)
*---Continued from last post
"You what?"
"I dreamt I died. I was sticking my head and my upper body out of the door of a car and some man shot me twice in the chest."
"Urrggh! That's sick! How can you ever dream of yourself dying? Did the dream end there?"
No, it did not. But from that point on it got pretty vague. "No. After I died I sort of came out of my body... and I could see my corpse lying there... and somehow I told myself in a rather cool tone, "OK, that's the end of Suan Aik.""
"No shit..." We were stopped by a red light. ooO. Faizal eased his posture and started to actually listen to me for the first time in the entire conversation.
"And what's even weirder is that I kind of 'became' my older cousin, the only other person in the car at that time and who was in the driver's seat, although I don't really remember what happened after that. It wasn't just an out-of-body experience like the kind you hear so often about. This was an in-another-body experience!" I turned and looked Faizal in the eye with that last exclamation.
"Brother, you sure have some weirded dreams, but this one I think tops them all. It's just too bad you can't remember more of it."
That reminded me of what I did directly after I got up. This was something I had to share. "You know, after I got up, I went to check out what my dream meant. I have this small Reader's Digest supplement booklet titled 'How to Interpret Your Dreams'. It's a really small book and it really doesn't say much, but under 'Death' it says "Death is, for the psyche, a process of transformation, Things which die in a dream are frequently replaced by something new. But usually the further developments in the dream show that spiritual renewal first requires sacrifices to be made.""
*To be continued in next post---
P/S: Haha...just discovered the font colour option here...tell me if u think I'm going too colour crazy ;-)
*---Continued from last post
"You what?"
"I dreamt I died. I was sticking my head and my upper body out of the door of a car and some man shot me twice in the chest."
"Urrggh! That's sick! How can you ever dream of yourself dying? Did the dream end there?"
No, it did not. But from that point on it got pretty vague. "No. After I died I sort of came out of my body... and I could see my corpse lying there... and somehow I told myself in a rather cool tone, "OK, that's the end of Suan Aik.""
"No shit..." We were stopped by a red light. ooO. Faizal eased his posture and started to actually listen to me for the first time in the entire conversation.
"And what's even weirder is that I kind of 'became' my older cousin, the only other person in the car at that time and who was in the driver's seat, although I don't really remember what happened after that. It wasn't just an out-of-body experience like the kind you hear so often about. This was an in-another-body experience!" I turned and looked Faizal in the eye with that last exclamation.
"Brother, you sure have some weirded dreams, but this one I think tops them all. It's just too bad you can't remember more of it."
That reminded me of what I did directly after I got up. This was something I had to share. "You know, after I got up, I went to check out what my dream meant. I have this small Reader's Digest supplement booklet titled 'How to Interpret Your Dreams'. It's a really small book and it really doesn't say much, but under 'Death' it says "Death is, for the psyche, a process of transformation, Things which die in a dream are frequently replaced by something new. But usually the further developments in the dream show that spiritual renewal first requires sacrifices to be made.""
*To be continued in next post---
Tuesday, September 28, 2004
There are times when life throws you love songs... there are those Linkin Park-like times when rage consumes you... and... there are times when its just the Traffic Report...
*radio interference, Blue Danube playing in the background*
"OK...traffic is SLOW on Jalan Raja Chulan heading out to Jalan Pudu while the federal highway has come to a standstill. Jalan Hang Tuah is clear, however. Drivers are advised to..."
I pop in an MP3 disc into Faizal's car radio.
"Hey! I wanted to listen to that report!"
I press buttons till i find Muse's latest album. Thoughts of a dying Atheist.
"I need some music in here, sorry."
Faizal seemed somewhat passive. It was his defining characteristic. Passive but sweet. Homemade apple pie. "Ah, wouldn't have mattered much anyway."
I take in the familiar scenery otuside the Civic on the way to school. The street lamps glow like yellow stars amidst a misty blue dawn sky. Schoolchildren everywhere are getting up. You can just hear their thoughts, "Ah, damn... school again!? Why do I have to wake up so early for school? I wanted to finish my dream..."
Muse swells to their chorus. Their music would be best described by the words electronic apocalyptia. "Scares the hell out of me... And the end is all I can see..."
"You know, I dreamt I died last night."
*--To Be Continued on next post
*radio interference, Blue Danube playing in the background*
"OK...traffic is SLOW on Jalan Raja Chulan heading out to Jalan Pudu while the federal highway has come to a standstill. Jalan Hang Tuah is clear, however. Drivers are advised to..."
I pop in an MP3 disc into Faizal's car radio.
"Hey! I wanted to listen to that report!"
I press buttons till i find Muse's latest album. Thoughts of a dying Atheist.
"I need some music in here, sorry."
Faizal seemed somewhat passive. It was his defining characteristic. Passive but sweet. Homemade apple pie. "Ah, wouldn't have mattered much anyway."
I take in the familiar scenery otuside the Civic on the way to school. The street lamps glow like yellow stars amidst a misty blue dawn sky. Schoolchildren everywhere are getting up. You can just hear their thoughts, "Ah, damn... school again!? Why do I have to wake up so early for school? I wanted to finish my dream..."
Muse swells to their chorus. Their music would be best described by the words electronic apocalyptia. "Scares the hell out of me... And the end is all I can see..."
"You know, I dreamt I died last night."
*--To Be Continued on next post
Friday, September 24, 2004
*--continued from last post
I am 17 now. 70 minus 10 Chinese New Years, 70 minus 10 Merdeka Days, less than 70 minus 10 years to spend... As life often is, ironically I am troubled less by death as the years pass. Life's but a walking shadow, a dead player, a well-oiled and maintained grandfather clock. Life is first Perjanjian Madinah, then Perjanjian Hudaibiyah followed by Pengoksidaan. A day is first waking up then walking and talking then sleeping - the first is the least enjoyable and the last the most, everything else in between is just the moving of the hands. Dong! Dong! It's a new day again.
Me and 3 other classmates sit outside the class. It's the trials. It's Chemistry. It's hidrochloric acid fuming through the pits of hell onto my paper. I can almost hear the devil laughing. The same fucking desperation time after time. You fill up more space than they give you with every small detail that you can pry out of your skull with the hope that somehow or rather you will fluke a mark or two. It rarely happens. I stop in the footsteps of my desperation - I did not get any sleep at all the night before with the exception of half an hour of half-sleep in Perng's freezing excuse for a bedroom. Pushing aside my papers, I let myself go. The same magpies' song brushes me with the breeze; a melodious catalyst for dreams of a time long gone and long missed.
Thank you for viewing and your comments!!
I am 17 now. 70 minus 10 Chinese New Years, 70 minus 10 Merdeka Days, less than 70 minus 10 years to spend... As life often is, ironically I am troubled less by death as the years pass. Life's but a walking shadow, a dead player, a well-oiled and maintained grandfather clock. Life is first Perjanjian Madinah, then Perjanjian Hudaibiyah followed by Pengoksidaan. A day is first waking up then walking and talking then sleeping - the first is the least enjoyable and the last the most, everything else in between is just the moving of the hands. Dong! Dong! It's a new day again.
Me and 3 other classmates sit outside the class. It's the trials. It's Chemistry. It's hidrochloric acid fuming through the pits of hell onto my paper. I can almost hear the devil laughing. The same fucking desperation time after time. You fill up more space than they give you with every small detail that you can pry out of your skull with the hope that somehow or rather you will fluke a mark or two. It rarely happens. I stop in the footsteps of my desperation - I did not get any sleep at all the night before with the exception of half an hour of half-sleep in Perng's freezing excuse for a bedroom. Pushing aside my papers, I let myself go. The same magpies' song brushes me with the breeze; a melodious catalyst for dreams of a time long gone and long missed.
Thank you for viewing and your comments!!
Friday, September 17, 2004
Below is something I cooked up which is partially my thoughts a partially fiction. Hope u guys enjoy n criticise n give me feedback about it =)
Seems like Monday's already here; I can already hear those birds chirping - The crows, the magpies with that familiar melody. Back when I was 8 or 9 and the world had a 5 km radius, the magpies' song would fill my senses; early childhood wonder; wonder by instinct; wonder about the world outside of school, and homework, and study-friends; but never wonder for the sake of wondering. Looking out the back window from my room into the stank, strange back lane of industry; looking out the sliding fibreglass doors into the front lawn scenery - the electrical poles, the trees and birds - the future.
Life is so simple when you're young. Yeah sure, blah-blah-BLAH... it's all been said before. But the actual experience is never quite like the expectation. When I was 7, I had a sudden fear of dying. As if all of a sudden I realized life as I knew it was not a constant. If I was lucky, I would have 70 more Chinese New Years, 70 more Merdeka days, and much less than 70 more years to share with my parents. All the thoughts came so unexpectedly - my young mind was swarmed and consumed like vultures on the carcass of a calf. Baffled and not knowing what to do, my already drawn-back personality retreated even more. So many times I would sit down to dinner with my parents and be glum and silent, only to be disappointed that in the eyes' of others, I was seemingly alright. That was my first taste of true dejection - scornful, malicious, silent dejection. It is a sad thing when humans do not get what they need. And those who neglect these nessecities are no longer human.
*To be continued--
Seems like Monday's already here; I can already hear those birds chirping - The crows, the magpies with that familiar melody. Back when I was 8 or 9 and the world had a 5 km radius, the magpies' song would fill my senses; early childhood wonder; wonder by instinct; wonder about the world outside of school, and homework, and study-friends; but never wonder for the sake of wondering. Looking out the back window from my room into the stank, strange back lane of industry; looking out the sliding fibreglass doors into the front lawn scenery - the electrical poles, the trees and birds - the future.
Life is so simple when you're young. Yeah sure, blah-blah-BLAH... it's all been said before. But the actual experience is never quite like the expectation. When I was 7, I had a sudden fear of dying. As if all of a sudden I realized life as I knew it was not a constant. If I was lucky, I would have 70 more Chinese New Years, 70 more Merdeka days, and much less than 70 more years to share with my parents. All the thoughts came so unexpectedly - my young mind was swarmed and consumed like vultures on the carcass of a calf. Baffled and not knowing what to do, my already drawn-back personality retreated even more. So many times I would sit down to dinner with my parents and be glum and silent, only to be disappointed that in the eyes' of others, I was seemingly alright. That was my first taste of true dejection - scornful, malicious, silent dejection. It is a sad thing when humans do not get what they need. And those who neglect these nessecities are no longer human.
*To be continued--
