Tuesday, September 28, 2004
There are times when life throws you love songs... there are those Linkin Park-like times when rage consumes you... and... there are times when its just the Traffic Report...
*radio interference, Blue Danube playing in the background*
"OK...traffic is SLOW on Jalan Raja Chulan heading out to Jalan Pudu while the federal highway has come to a standstill. Jalan Hang Tuah is clear, however. Drivers are advised to..."
I pop in an MP3 disc into Faizal's car radio.
"Hey! I wanted to listen to that report!"
I press buttons till i find Muse's latest album. Thoughts of a dying Atheist.
"I need some music in here, sorry."
Faizal seemed somewhat passive. It was his defining characteristic. Passive but sweet. Homemade apple pie. "Ah, wouldn't have mattered much anyway."
I take in the familiar scenery otuside the Civic on the way to school. The street lamps glow like yellow stars amidst a misty blue dawn sky. Schoolchildren everywhere are getting up. You can just hear their thoughts, "Ah, damn... school again!? Why do I have to wake up so early for school? I wanted to finish my dream..."
Muse swells to their chorus. Their music would be best described by the words electronic apocalyptia. "Scares the hell out of me... And the end is all I can see..."
"You know, I dreamt I died last night."
*--To Be Continued on next post
*radio interference, Blue Danube playing in the background*
"OK...traffic is SLOW on Jalan Raja Chulan heading out to Jalan Pudu while the federal highway has come to a standstill. Jalan Hang Tuah is clear, however. Drivers are advised to..."
I pop in an MP3 disc into Faizal's car radio.
"Hey! I wanted to listen to that report!"
I press buttons till i find Muse's latest album. Thoughts of a dying Atheist.
"I need some music in here, sorry."
Faizal seemed somewhat passive. It was his defining characteristic. Passive but sweet. Homemade apple pie. "Ah, wouldn't have mattered much anyway."
I take in the familiar scenery otuside the Civic on the way to school. The street lamps glow like yellow stars amidst a misty blue dawn sky. Schoolchildren everywhere are getting up. You can just hear their thoughts, "Ah, damn... school again!? Why do I have to wake up so early for school? I wanted to finish my dream..."
Muse swells to their chorus. Their music would be best described by the words electronic apocalyptia. "Scares the hell out of me... And the end is all I can see..."
"You know, I dreamt I died last night."
*--To Be Continued on next post
Friday, September 24, 2004
*--continued from last post
I am 17 now. 70 minus 10 Chinese New Years, 70 minus 10 Merdeka Days, less than 70 minus 10 years to spend... As life often is, ironically I am troubled less by death as the years pass. Life's but a walking shadow, a dead player, a well-oiled and maintained grandfather clock. Life is first Perjanjian Madinah, then Perjanjian Hudaibiyah followed by Pengoksidaan. A day is first waking up then walking and talking then sleeping - the first is the least enjoyable and the last the most, everything else in between is just the moving of the hands. Dong! Dong! It's a new day again.
Me and 3 other classmates sit outside the class. It's the trials. It's Chemistry. It's hidrochloric acid fuming through the pits of hell onto my paper. I can almost hear the devil laughing. The same fucking desperation time after time. You fill up more space than they give you with every small detail that you can pry out of your skull with the hope that somehow or rather you will fluke a mark or two. It rarely happens. I stop in the footsteps of my desperation - I did not get any sleep at all the night before with the exception of half an hour of half-sleep in Perng's freezing excuse for a bedroom. Pushing aside my papers, I let myself go. The same magpies' song brushes me with the breeze; a melodious catalyst for dreams of a time long gone and long missed.
Thank you for viewing and your comments!!
I am 17 now. 70 minus 10 Chinese New Years, 70 minus 10 Merdeka Days, less than 70 minus 10 years to spend... As life often is, ironically I am troubled less by death as the years pass. Life's but a walking shadow, a dead player, a well-oiled and maintained grandfather clock. Life is first Perjanjian Madinah, then Perjanjian Hudaibiyah followed by Pengoksidaan. A day is first waking up then walking and talking then sleeping - the first is the least enjoyable and the last the most, everything else in between is just the moving of the hands. Dong! Dong! It's a new day again.
Me and 3 other classmates sit outside the class. It's the trials. It's Chemistry. It's hidrochloric acid fuming through the pits of hell onto my paper. I can almost hear the devil laughing. The same fucking desperation time after time. You fill up more space than they give you with every small detail that you can pry out of your skull with the hope that somehow or rather you will fluke a mark or two. It rarely happens. I stop in the footsteps of my desperation - I did not get any sleep at all the night before with the exception of half an hour of half-sleep in Perng's freezing excuse for a bedroom. Pushing aside my papers, I let myself go. The same magpies' song brushes me with the breeze; a melodious catalyst for dreams of a time long gone and long missed.
Thank you for viewing and your comments!!
Friday, September 17, 2004
Below is something I cooked up which is partially my thoughts a partially fiction. Hope u guys enjoy n criticise n give me feedback about it =)
Seems like Monday's already here; I can already hear those birds chirping - The crows, the magpies with that familiar melody. Back when I was 8 or 9 and the world had a 5 km radius, the magpies' song would fill my senses; early childhood wonder; wonder by instinct; wonder about the world outside of school, and homework, and study-friends; but never wonder for the sake of wondering. Looking out the back window from my room into the stank, strange back lane of industry; looking out the sliding fibreglass doors into the front lawn scenery - the electrical poles, the trees and birds - the future.
Life is so simple when you're young. Yeah sure, blah-blah-BLAH... it's all been said before. But the actual experience is never quite like the expectation. When I was 7, I had a sudden fear of dying. As if all of a sudden I realized life as I knew it was not a constant. If I was lucky, I would have 70 more Chinese New Years, 70 more Merdeka days, and much less than 70 more years to share with my parents. All the thoughts came so unexpectedly - my young mind was swarmed and consumed like vultures on the carcass of a calf. Baffled and not knowing what to do, my already drawn-back personality retreated even more. So many times I would sit down to dinner with my parents and be glum and silent, only to be disappointed that in the eyes' of others, I was seemingly alright. That was my first taste of true dejection - scornful, malicious, silent dejection. It is a sad thing when humans do not get what they need. And those who neglect these nessecities are no longer human.
*To be continued--
Seems like Monday's already here; I can already hear those birds chirping - The crows, the magpies with that familiar melody. Back when I was 8 or 9 and the world had a 5 km radius, the magpies' song would fill my senses; early childhood wonder; wonder by instinct; wonder about the world outside of school, and homework, and study-friends; but never wonder for the sake of wondering. Looking out the back window from my room into the stank, strange back lane of industry; looking out the sliding fibreglass doors into the front lawn scenery - the electrical poles, the trees and birds - the future.
Life is so simple when you're young. Yeah sure, blah-blah-BLAH... it's all been said before. But the actual experience is never quite like the expectation. When I was 7, I had a sudden fear of dying. As if all of a sudden I realized life as I knew it was not a constant. If I was lucky, I would have 70 more Chinese New Years, 70 more Merdeka days, and much less than 70 more years to share with my parents. All the thoughts came so unexpectedly - my young mind was swarmed and consumed like vultures on the carcass of a calf. Baffled and not knowing what to do, my already drawn-back personality retreated even more. So many times I would sit down to dinner with my parents and be glum and silent, only to be disappointed that in the eyes' of others, I was seemingly alright. That was my first taste of true dejection - scornful, malicious, silent dejection. It is a sad thing when humans do not get what they need. And those who neglect these nessecities are no longer human.
*To be continued--
Thursday, September 02, 2004
OK......it would seem that I'm back..........and that blogger has changed its input font...........damn it's been a long time.............
It goes like this: I've had a total of 9 hours sleep in the past 2 days compared to the 14 hours i should b gettin.........so when it was time 4 English 1119 today after recess............i wasn't flat out sleepy, but let's just say i wasn't completely concious. +, b4 the test i had a side bet with Perng - section B only...5 bucks.
Section A had alotta points 2 write on.....so i overused my time doing it.......ended up with........i dunno......gotta really start bringing my watch 4 the exams.........how much time left 4 section B.
So i look thru the topics, n, being the romantic that i am, i choose the 1-word-title one. This time its "Fantsy". Great..........."fantasy"................i've got a good imagination, but imagining takes time.
So i start it, and i end it.........badly. i want revenge ;)
Hence this and the next few posts. I'm gonna re-write the whole damn thing thru however many posts it takes me 2 finish the story........gosh I really hope i'll c this thing thru.......can't remember when was the last project i finished.........always start without finishing.........that's me lah wei =)
Happy reading!!
It goes like this: I've had a total of 9 hours sleep in the past 2 days compared to the 14 hours i should b gettin.........so when it was time 4 English 1119 today after recess............i wasn't flat out sleepy, but let's just say i wasn't completely concious. +, b4 the test i had a side bet with Perng - section B only...5 bucks.
Section A had alotta points 2 write on.....so i overused my time doing it.......ended up with........i dunno......gotta really start bringing my watch 4 the exams.........how much time left 4 section B.
So i look thru the topics, n, being the romantic that i am, i choose the 1-word-title one. This time its "Fantsy". Great..........."fantasy"................i've got a good imagination, but imagining takes time.
So i start it, and i end it.........badly. i want revenge ;)
Hence this and the next few posts. I'm gonna re-write the whole damn thing thru however many posts it takes me 2 finish the story........gosh I really hope i'll c this thing thru.......can't remember when was the last project i finished.........always start without finishing.........that's me lah wei =)
Happy reading!!
